absolutley!!!

"Dramatic, dynamic and compassionate Leo starts the year working hard to discover new ways to express practical ideals by connecting to inner wisdom. You will realize how everything you do in your life affects the entire world on some level. Feeling a need to change and re-evaluate your personal values and all that you hold sacred has been a regular exercise for you, both personally and financially."

and the bolded here just gave me shivers, it is so accurate i can't even BEGIN. so true.*
"The focus for Virgo, this year, is on developing creative endeavors to better serve mankind as a whole. Your socially independent nature will attract wonderful new people into your life and you will gain more chances to expand your circle of friends. Your self-discipline will help you accomplish great things in your life."

*"design anarchy" is changing my life...no, maybe not exactly that, but more like reinforcing my artistic conscience. i am so grateful for that resource...at times its pretty extreme, but it is so wise.
"His second book, Design Anarchy, calls on graphic designers, illustrators and other creative professionals to turn from working in service to corporate and political pollution of both the planet and "the mental environment," and instead embrace a radical new aesthetic devoted to social and environmental responsibility." -wikipedia

important

i think im starting to remember that the world is a lot bigger than me.
it gets more complicated than this. but lets just leave it this way for now.

but

i have so much to lose.

one thing that i always appriciate about my life

is that travel excursions come at the most apt times. walla walla has saved my sorry ass nearly every time i have gone. portland will be my messiah.

figuring out my rising sign

due to my leo/virgo cusp im somewhere between leo and cancer rising.

Leo rising people cannot help but be noticed. They radiate a special energy and magnetism that gets others' attention. Sometimes it's because they are loud people who pay a lot of attention to their personal appearance (especially their hair!); other times it's due to a regal manner that simply demands interest from others.

Leo Ascendant people are very self-aware and body-conscious. They are acutely aware of others, and how they come across. In fact, these people are especially aware of their personal "backdrop"--they consider what the people they're with, and the environments they are in, do to their own image. Often, Leo rising natives feel as if they are on stage, even in the privacy of their own homes!

They are given to rash decisions, temper tantrums, and excesses. However, they have plenty of staying power, drive, and their idealism keeps them from getting into too much trouble. The desire to oversee the goings-on in their circle can sometimes amount to bossiness. If this desire doesn't go too far, however, it can just mean a person who wants to make sure the people they love are all right. Many Leo rising people are managers, either by profession or character.

The tendency to overestimate things, and themselves, is generally present. This is due to a natural enthusiasm and optimism about any new undertaking. Sometimes, they are walking commercials. In fact, Leo rising people make excellent promoters.

Leo rising people are generally demonstrative, and given to grand gestures. Drama comes naturally to these natives. In fact, some are so caught up in fiction, they're a little blind to fact. They have an unusual need to be admired.

Leo Ascendants often have a strong physical constitution. They pay special attention to their personal appearance and mannerisms. Usually, they choose clothing and hairstyles that are youthful. Their manner is authoritarian and strong.

No matter their age in real-world terms, Leo rising people are kids at heart. They are fun-loving and warm; generous and spirited.

Just how magnanimous and outgoing a Leo rising individual is will be modified by the placement of the Sun by sign and house. This is because the ruling planet of a Leo Ascendant is the Sun. For example, a Leo rising person with Sun in Virgo may not come across as strongly as a Leo rising person with Sun in Aries. No matter the placement of the Sun, however, Leo rising natives are quite self-aware and optimistic. They have a natural flair for presentation, an eye for quality, and a hard-to-resist warmth of style. They want to make things happen, and create a stir.

____

These people come across as gentle creatures. There's something familiar about them -- they're the guy or gal next door. When they enter a room, they don't walk in with a splash. Instead, they move to the sides and weave their way inwards. These people have a familiar feel to them. Because they are rather sensitive to their environment, they can get flustered easily, especially in public.

Their first instinct, when threatened or on unfamiliar ground, is to protect themselves. When new situations present themselves, they can immediately withdraw or act shy. Generally, these people come across as caring people. They seem quite sweet -- even innocent. Usually, these people appear unassuming enough to be quite approachable. Some Cancer Ascendants, however, have retreated into themselves so much as to be quite the opposite.

Since Capricorn is on the Descendant, Cancer Ascendant people are looking for structure and security in their partner and their relationship. These people function best when their partner displays strength, financial and emotional stability, and know-how. In fact, many Cancer Ascendants prefer it when their relationship has well-defined rules. Security is the basic need, and they are generally more than willing to give up some personal freedom in order to get it. In some cases, Cancer Ascendant people can surprise their partners. Why? Because they come across as rather unassuming, family-oriented people. When it comes to marriage, they have a rather matter-of-fact, practical approach.

holidayz art upon us

christmas could definatley be awesome, even though i know many things i am getting. i like surprises, therefore, it is a bummer. i get to spend it with two baby twins. whoopee. seriously though.
then two days after christmas i am returning to portland, my soul town. oregon someday i will be yours. im going house hunting so when i leave i'll put my dream lot in a time capsule so when i come back from college in seven years (yikes it sounds far away) it'll still be there, for me.

i like this one

"In common with the founders of Socialism, Anarchists demand the abolition of all economic monopolies and the common ownership of the soil and all other means of production, the use of which must be available to all without distinction; for personal and social freedom is conceivable only on the basis of equal economic advantages for everybody. Within the Socialist movement itself the Anarchists represent the viewpoint that the war against capitalism must be at the same time a war against all institutions of political power, for in history economic exploitation has always gone hand in hand with political and social oppression. The exploitation of man by man and the domination of man over man are inseparable, and each is the condition of the other."

im trying to figure it out. anarchy can be fuzzy. to me, in its purest sense it could solve all problems, but its such a delicate system that unless everyone was on board 100% it could be so easily corrupted. well, in a lot of ways democracy is the same. any political system really. communism too...its so borderline that anyone that tries to exploit it can with ease. which is sad, and scary, but i think that says a message that no matter what governmental system you believe in...they're all fragile and thats why everyone needs to be in unity and in understanding of that system...i like complicated thoughts, complicated art, complicated music, i appreciate many complex things, but i think that government, society, spirituality, life even, all of it, it doesn't make sense unless its the simple logical truth. every truth is simple. thats another reason that our democracy seems a little off kilter...its so unbelieveably complicated, and is it working that well? every person should represent themselves, not through someone else.
logic is the truth of life...doesn't karma make sense? doesn't individuality make sense? doesn't peace make sense? when you break it down...and i mean really, chip away at it until you find what it truly stands for...it all makes crystal clear sense. in my opinion, this should be applied to everything.
our democracy has let the fundemental ideas slip away...they weren't perfect when it started, but in all optimism there could have been someone down the line who could inspire future politicians to see the true possibility in this system. its a logical and fair system, but in current times it has gotten so out of hand bizarre...candidates have to buy their way in! its a simple fact that doesn't surprise many anymore just because its the norm. but that is horrifying.
thats why at this point, anarchy seems the soloution...as long as everyone could agree to work towards acheiving a common goal. that goal being fulfillment of life for every human. phrase it as it fits, but i think everyone wants to live their individual lives in complete freedom.

i cant believe how typical i am letting myself be right now

i hate being looked down upon, especially if you really know me. don't talk to me like i don't understand if its something obviously simple. if i didn't ask for your explanation, i probably already understand it. don't treat me like im younger. in a lot of instances i have a lot more experienced things to comment on whatever your talking about. so don't try to belittle me.
you're not as smart as you think you are all the time. nobody is so get over it and stop trying to seem like the bigger man here. because you're actually just coming across as an asshole. and you're also making me feel like i have to correct you. which is a waste of energy. so just stop belittling me. i'm smart, too.

i guess theres a fine line?

is a band's "image" different from their general "aesthetic"? for instance get some random mainstream band and they have their you know specific image that theyre pushing for marketing motives and all that, but is that different from a general visual energy that a band puts out? for me visual imagination and what i hear go hand in hand. in most instances i associate music visually. its just not strictly the sense of hearing for me, even though that sounds kind of confusing... . there are some bands out there that just like, have the same aesthetic to themselves and i dont think they're pushing it to like, be super avant garde or anything but just thats what they like so why not push it over the top and dress like it was 1912? maybe all these indie bands im thinking about want to carve a certain niche for themselves, which can't be blamed because it would be boring if no one was trying to do that. but im pretty sure i dont consider that marketing, its just who they are, and when your together making music you can pretty much go wild with whatever you're really into...i'm not sure if this makes much sense to anyone else.

tomorrow night

those who want to be a part of a true revolution through music, not as a retaliation, but as an acceptance of all sounds and all people!

USE
USE
USE

cloudy

hey, sunshine
i haven't seen you in a long time.
why don't you show your face and bend my mind?
these clouds stick to the sky

but i still love christmas

summer was and is the golden time of my life. my life redeemed itself and i look back and feel nothing went wrong. of course my general point of view on events changed a little, i didn't let things affect me if they shouldn't have. but festival season was flawless, i had absolutley glorious weeks filled with friends and music and being. summer was freeing. it was the first time i could feel content with myself - not that i was just happy with who i was, but i spent more time finding out what i wanted and giving myself just that. it was so good. i spent four weeks in walla walla essentially by myself and felt very at peace. summer will always be refreshing, every sense that reminds me of that time (music, foods, feelings, weathers) will always feel new and just as great to me. i discovered how easily happiness appears once the sun dawns. its a place i want to find in my mind to come to forever.
i think its a place i need to find. i can't just live in a desert forever. that would be escaping. warm weather helps, but how i felt was sunshine on the inside. i just happened to be in places where it followed me physically.

so i've been driving cars lately

drivers ed is a HOOT! we have a driving lesson tomorrow, and my group kicks ass. and i hella kicked first time drivers ass yesterday. kicked it in the amazon parking lot near lowes, kicked it in cascadia (windy roads, hello), kicked it near my old mt. baker residence, kicked it ALL THE WAY to MLK way and back to my humble abodes.
seriously, me and that jeep are going to be close. the bond is strengthened already. i hope old jeep holds up through my learning tribulations.

pretty parlor party TONIGHT!

i love pretty parlor and im going to celebrate her 6th birthday like it was 1999...my 6th birthday year, anyways.
bad joke.
good party...!

one of my favorite parts of december

is Sufjan Stevens Presents Songs for Christmas Box Set! or whatever. i love it. its the strongest connotation i have from last december, seriously.
http://www.myspace.com/sufjanstevenschristmasboxset
i created a myspace page where you can listen and add some of the songs. spread the christmas luvin!

dylan

aggghhh

i know nothing i know nothing i know nothing i know nothing i know nothing i know nothing i really know nothing at all! i can't say i know anything for sure. confusion is the worst thing i have ever known so well. i know nothing!

i plan futures

its perhaps a bad habit of sorts.
in three years from now i will be living in a dorm at rhode island school of design in providence, where i will be earning my bfa in graphic design, while also earning credits at brown university in a humanities subject tba.
after my five year stint in college, i will be recruited to a fitting out-of-college job in portland, oregon where i will live in a "studio house" (three rooms - bath, bed, and kitchen/living) on which i will install a glass dome room to make art in and have summer slumber parties. i will not own a car.

dylan

i'm going to collect my thoughts here.

whenever i think of something i want to share or just get out of the bars of my brain, they're going here. love to the people.
dylan